For most of us, we are our own worst enemies. Saboteurs are those self limiting thoughts that nag at us and keep us from moving life forward to fulfillment. When saboteurs take over, it seems impossible to find a solution or escape their oppression. They are masters of dead ends and life without possibility.

Saboteurs can be very loud and extremely convincing! Generally, they begin as a form of self preservation. Over time they become more negative and influential as they throw life out of balance. They muscle in and take over executive control. When that happens, expect

a life of living small. Saboteurs want status quo at all costs. The cost is you. Self respect…no way!  Self fulfillment…forget it!

Effective Tools

A Saboteur loses its hold over you when you notice it, simply notice it. The more you know of your saboteur, the less it can dish out a limiting life.

Here’s a story on one woman’s success at understanding her saboteur and pushing past her limitations.

A single woman felt scared about reentering the dating scene. Her saboteur jumped right into her fears and nearly obliterated her self confidence. Her saboteur assured her she was flawed and that no one would be attracted to her. This woman would become a nervous mess prior to each date. She began to believe she was a failure and undesirable. Finally, she created an empowered plan of action. She imagined her saboteur locked in the trunk of her car so she could confidently meet her newest date. It worked! With her own worst enemy locked in the trunk of her car, this woman enjoyed being herself as she pursued the world of dating.

Some things to think about

• Where does your saboteur show up? Avoid being caught off guard.
• Saboteurs do not proclaim greatness. Notice how disempowered or limited or stuck your saboteur makes you feel.
• Usually saboteurs have “Top Ten” slogans. Chances are the ones you hear the most are keeping you from the life you’d really like to have. Here are some common examples:
  •  “You’re not a good speaker.” Followed by a successful presentation and saboteur saying, “What were you so worried about?”
  •  “You don’t know how to manage money.”
  •  “No one would want to date you. You’re too . . . “
  •  “You’re not worthy.”
  •  “You’re not smart enough…good enough…pretty enough.”
  •  “It’s always your fault.”
  • “In this economy, you can’t ask for a raise.”

This is key: You are not your Saboteur. You are so much more! You are smart enough, strong enough, good enough, and capable enough despite what your saboteur wants you to believe. Do not try to dialogue with a saboteur. It simply does no good. Believe in your greatness. 

Take the challenge

• Spend some time getting to know your saboteur.
• Imagine a remote control. Change the channel each time you hear negative self talk. Expect your saboteur to be persistent.
• If you find your saboteur getting the better of you, call in an outside perspective. As your coach, I will help you to identify whenever saboteurs show up, and create a concrete plan of action based on what you want, not on what your saboteur thinks you should do, no matter how loud or convincing it is.

Further information: Taming Your Gremlin by Rick Carson

©2010 Maren Beckman. All rights reserved.