Trapped in the clutches of “stuck,” a couple walked into my office.

Stuck was draining the very life out of a healthy relationship. They came to me to figure out how to move their relationship forward. It had been a year and they were fatigued. Something needed to happen, yet neither knew what was going on, or what to do about it. They were deeply in love and highly committed to each other. Everything about this couple pointed to a healthy, loving relationship, filled with mutual respect and positive regard. 

When their being stuck showed up in the coaching, it was palpable. We hung out in it until it revealed its purpose. Being stuck protected them from making a difficult, yet necessary decision. Once they moved past stuck, an underlying issue surfaced.  Unfortunately, this issue had no middle ground – to have or not have children. Each was in an opposite position on the matter.

It was evident to the couple how being stuck served them. It preserved the relationship and allowed them avoid a very difficult decision – ending their relationship or ending the dream of children.  After a year of standstill, this couple was able to break free of being stuck in only one coaching session. Now they were in a position to discuss difficult matters from a new perspective and take appropriate action.
 
Take the challenge

If you feel stuck in a relationship standstill, here are some questions to breathe life back into your relationship and get it moving forward. Before you go further, know that the standstill serves a purpose. Under it is a deeper concern, which requires you both to step out of your comfort zones and face whatever is hidden behind the stuck.

• Imagine your relationship as a road, with an enormous boulder blocking it. If that boulder were removed, what would lie on the other side? If being stuck was that boulder and it was rolled out of your way, what course would your relationship take?
• Imagine if tomorrow when you wake up, you discover that the challenges keeping you stuck are gone, how might you and your partner be with each other? How might it look? How might you feel? What dreams might you pursue?
• If all fears were removed, what choices would you make regarding your relationship? What would it take to move forward?